Stressing Stress

You know, it's characteristic of stress that, when in a time of great stress, stressing makes things worse. That might seem like a no-brainer, but how many of us, when in that time of stress, stop and destress?  Some very wise folk, most certainly; unfortunately, far fewer people, it would seem, than should.  We are so caught up in survival mode that we forget to look after ourselves.

My sweetie and I are going through a time of extreme stress right now.  It's been ongoing, virtually non-stop, since, well, January, really. One day, I'll talk about it, but for today's purposes, the effect of stress is enough of a topic.  Suffice to say, I'm terrified all the time right now.  It gnaws at my sternum, sends pick axes through my belly; it makes we want to start looking at the world from the back of my brain where I can hide, instead of full in the face. That, however, is impossible, not to mention unproductive, so I've coped thus far by not really thinking about the situation.  Now, this is helpful for getting through my work day, but not so great every other moment of my day.

What, I wonder, is the effect of stress on perimenopause? A study that I found at the Oxford Journals website (oxfordjournals.org), Prospective Study of the Determinants of Age at Menopause, did find a link between the age at full menopause and stress in both women with generally irregular menstrual cycles and African American women. They tend to be younger at full menopause, it would appear. Now, we all know how stress affects our menstrual cycle. How many of us have been days late or missed a period altogether at times of great stress? And a paper at the American Psychological Association, Stress Weakens the Immune System, states that longterm stress (ranging from days to months) will have a direct effect on the immune system. The study uses the word 'ravage' to describe it. How many of us get awful colds after a period of stress?

According to a paper I found at the Mayo Clinic website, the reason stress affects our menstrual cycles is that it affects the hypothalamus, the part of your brain that controls the hormones that regulate your menstrual cycle. I would think that this would also hold true when it comes to perimenopause???? I can't find any papers online that address the effect of stress on menopause, so that remains to be seen.

I have to think that going to the gym will help.  Exercise is a great stress-reliever; everybody says so, and I know the truth of this.  So, as we try to get through the next, intense, month, I'm going to test the theory. This will not only ease my stress a great deal, but it is highly beneficial for people living with inflammatory arthritis. It will reduce my overall pain levels, help me sleep, help me relax; I know this for a fact. I've read that exercise will also help ease some of the signs of perimenopause. Not to mention, I want to lose the ten pounds I gained on holiday in July.

So, out of curiosity, I did a Google search on 'marriage and menopause'. I wanted to see if anyone else out there is beginning both at the same time. So far, I've found 16 pages of advice on:

• how to make your marriage survive menopause;
• advice from men to other men on how to survive their wives' menopause;
• remedies for menopause (like it's a disease);
• sex and menopause;
• LOTS of sex and save your marriage from menopause type pages;
• a page on religious women and how spirituality helps them decrease the signs of perimenopause; and
• one lonely blog entry from a woman who met the love of her life when she was 45 and how they eventually got married, but not one word in it about living through menopause at the same time.

The way I see it, I'm on my own with this one. Well, figuratively, anyway. Stress goes hand in hand with planning a wedding. Menopause is stress. So, time to relearn my stress-relief techniques. And exercise, exercise, exercise!