What Does 'Bride' Mean?

Don't know how to credit this one.

I think one of the hardest things to figure out is whether my emotional reactions are due to the actual situation, or raging mood swings. I mean, you feel desperately sad, and the current situation certainly gives you reason to be sad, but is it enough to cause the horrible, gut-wrenching despair you're experiencing? Or the flash of instantaneous rage?

And what do you do in these moments? I mean, how do you talk yourself down off the precipice when you're in the midst of such unreasoning emotion? I wonder if it would be possible to train my brain to step in when I'm caught up like that. You know, like an alarm goes off and a more reasonable area of grey cells points out the unremitting, unreasonable nature of the reaction and causes you to stop for a moment, realize that maybe the reaction is a little steep for the circumstances, and go for a walk.

Luckily, our rather large puppy needs lots of exercise.

National Soybean Research Library

Thought I'd look into soy as a natural 'remedy' for menopausal symptoms. The jury seems to be out on this one. A study out of the Department of Gynecology at the Federal University of Sao Paulo, in Brazil, found that it may be efficacious in easing menopausal symptoms. The US Department of Health and Human Services Office on Women's Health says there's no clear proof. But if you search PubMed, you also find an analysis of studies on the use of soy in treating perimenopausal symptoms conducted by the Department of Complimentary Medicine, Penninsula Medical School, Universities of Exeter and Plymouth in the UK, that pretty much says that it's up in the air, but there may be benefit to taking soy.  I wonder if it's worth adding more tofu to my diet. I hate tofu. Luckily, this does come in pill form.

I think part of what I'm wrestling with when it comes to the wedding is the word 'Bride'. I know it sounds weird, but to me, 'Bride' connotes youth, purity, sweetness, and light. At almost 50 (I'll turn 50 later in the year we get married) youth certainly does not apply, regardless of the fact that there's a Chinese saying that humans do not reach adulthood until the age of 50. Purity, well, that's not a word I would apply to myself at this point. Sweetness completely depends on the moment and who I am talking to. And as for light ... there are moments of light, but I'm living in the hour of the wolf right now ... maybe I won't be by the time the wedding comes. Of course, these are my expectations, my ... what's the word I want? ... prejudices? ... connotations? ... when it comes to the word 'Bride'.

I found some photos, old, old, photos, the other day.  They're of a couple that I used to bowl with when I belonged to a league.  They were in their sixties maybe?  It was their wedding day, back around 1991. She definitely looks like a bride, wearing golden-ivory satin, with a peplum on the jacket and a mid-calf skirt.  Her hair is up and she has a tiny veil, almost a fascinator, at the back of her updo.  She looks radiant.  She looks like a bride.


My own mother remarried at age 66.  She wore a gorgeous, periwinkle blue suit, with a lovely multi-coloured blouse.  She carried a bunch of daffodils, her favourite flower, fresh picked from the garden. She looked radiant, and very much like a bride.

Both of these women wore something that made them feel good, made them be the beautiful brides-of-a-certain-age they were. That's what it comes down to, isn't it. It doesn't matter what anyone else wants or expects, you should feel good and special in whatever you wear as a bride.

They will be my example in this.  Mum, in particular, is often my example. Women of wisdom. I'm getting there ... some day.