Were Stacey & Clinton Right?

I don't know how much I have to say today. I'm not feeling quite so bloated and I'm on a more even keel emotionally. Thank god.

Last night, for the first time in three years, my sweetie and I had a gym date. We used to go to the gym together every day after work, until he tore his achilles, twice, three years ago. Between that and a whole whack of other issues in the intervening time, I've been unable to go. Something about, it's necessary to be at home to look after things at home. So, I struggled to keep up with my pilates (which I adore, by the way) and to keep going to my dance class (Flamenco, which I've been taking for about ten years). Last year, I had to stop my dance class. I had recurrent chest infections that cause inflammation in my lungs. Breathing is kind of important to dance. Then, just as I was able to start back in January, my sweetie became deathly ill. Then one of life's curve balls hit us upside the head and we've been in crisis mode.

I've done nothing physical since January. I used to do pilates five days a week, dance class one day a week (with hours of practice on weekends), and the gym four or five days a week. This year ... nada, zip, zilch. So, he talked me into joining the Y. I joined last week. Went once last week and had a good stretch, used the recumbant bike, did a few weights. Saturday I went in for a tour; I already know how to use the machines, just needed to know where they were! Finally, yesterday after work, I went in for a workout. Ten minutes on the stationary bike to get my muscles warm, about half an hour of pilates and leg stretches to limber up, and then I did my old leg programme (weight training). It felt really good!! And I feared for my pain levels and stiffness today. But today arrived and it's not so bad. I think walking a 115lb puppy every day is helping with this. LOL But the best part was, we had a gym date!! We've both missed that.

On Saturday, I'm meeting with a personal trainer to discuss my programme and what my goals are. Given that I live with inflammatory arthritis, my goals are pretty simple: stay limber, keep my range of motion, keep my pain levels down (exercise helps this), and look awesome in my wedding dress. I've already told him that I don't do stairs. He has my sweetie and several of our friends on this endurance routine that involves numerous repetitions of the five flights of stairs at the Y. Stairs hurt my ankles and shins. It's not a strength thing, it's pain in the front of my ankles. Been like that my whole life. I hate stairs and if they weren't necessary, I'd avoid them like the plague. Anyway, I'm looking forward to that. Meeting with the personal trainer, not the plague of stairs.

Menopause Herbal No. 2 - Black Cohosh

Photo from District of Saanich website

Studies examined by the Office of Dietary Supplements, for the National Institutes of Health in the US found conflicting results in the various studies. As such, they can't say for sure whether or not it actually works, but it did have some effect, sometimes. Here's a link to that article: NIH on Black Cohosh 

Health Canada has a list of herbal rememdies on its Natural Products database, but I found the information decidedly unhelpful, unless you were looking for adverse effects, in which case, there's a lot of information. Problem is, they list the common names and such, but no information or articles about whether or not a specific herbal has had any studies done, what it's used for, or whether it works. Instead, they list links to studies used, but the link only takes you to monograph information about the study, instead of linking to the actual study.


I've had some lovely feedback from people who've seen my blog thus far. My mother threatened to leave 'mother-type' comments. "Dear god, Mum," I said. "I'm 47 years old. If I can't handle a few motherly remarks by now I'm not worth my salt!"

You know, it would be much less expensive if my sweetie and I were being married during the warm months. We could rent a park space and have the entire thing outside, with a BBQ. My sister did that and it was lovely. However, our saving grace is timing. January and Sundays are two of the cheaper times to book venues. My sweetie thought it would be great to get married outside anyway. Everyone could wear parkas if they got cold and we'd all only be outside for about 15 minutes. I put my foot down. This is the only wedding dress I'm ever going to have and I want it seen while I trade vows with him, not hidden by a down-filled parka! I am thinking about a fur-trimmed cape, however.

You know, it's funny. When all of this started back in July, I searched on line for anything to do with mature women getting married. There isn't much out there. A forum or two. One of the forums I came across had a bunch of women of a certain age talking about picking wedding dresses. Some were divorced or widowed and marrying a second time. Some were happily married, anticipating retaking their vows. Some, few, like me, were getting married for the first time.

From dressale.com

So, they're talking dresses. "What's appropriate for a woman of a certain age," is the burning question. I was surprised (and not, at the same time) how defiant some of them were about wearing whatever-the-hell they wanted. If they wanted a bulbous gown festooned with ribbons and lace, then they were going to wear it, dammit. One woman, renewing her vows, is going to wear the same dress she wore when she was first married. It's a lacy concoction. Made me cringe. She very proudly (and rightly so) said that she could still wear it and hubby thought she looked great. More power to her, but really, I have to ask, is it appropriate? You're renewing your vows, not recapturing the past.

Maybe I'm a fashion stick-in-the-mud, but I believe in dressing in an age-appropriate way. Stacey and Clinton have that dead right. You might have the body to pull off a mini-skirt and belly-baring top, but should you when you're 50? At some point, you have to look in the mirror, see the age showing in your face (and plastic surgery, no matter how good, tends only to make you look like you've had plastic surgery) and grow up fashion-wise. Doesn't mean you have to be all Edwardian about your dressing (or even dress like Ma Barker). You can still have fun with it. Just use common-sense. When it comes to wedding dresses, the simpler, the better. Classic styling, simplicity and a good fit will still show you off. And you won't look like an idiot trying to be something you're not ... which is 22.

One of the good bits of advice I gleaned from these web pages was colour. Why not? It's not like I'm a virgin, which is what the white wedding dress is supposed to denote. Frankly, I think my family would fall off their seats laughing if I came down the aisle in a virginal white wedding dress. Mind you, I found this awesome pink halter - psychadelic colour-swirls, diaphanous fabric, slit up to here. It completely appealed to the magpie in me. They'd laugh their collective asses off if I came up the aisle in that, too, but at least it would be more out of appreciation for me just being who I am. I tried that dress on. I still love it, but no. Not for my wedding. Maybe for a beach holiday, however.