Sunday, October 16, 2011

I Can't Be There for My Boy

It's breaking his heart. He feels betrayed by his country. The emotional anguish is almost more than he can bear. We just sit here, waiting for the summons. It's all we can do.

We had a call from his son yesterday from his post at basic training. He needed his dad. He wanted to let him know that next Saturday, we can see him as he'll be accessible. But my sweetheart may be in jail. My stepson needs to see his dad, and his dad can't be there for him.

My stepson and his wife are having a baby in January. My sweetheart is going to have a granddaughter, whose birth he will  more than likely miss. Who he will barely know. Who will never know what an amazing man her grandfather is because of this sentence. He will not be the same man after too much of this. He will not survive too much of this.

My stepson graduates from basic in February. We're supposed to be there. It's an important day. My sweetheart will more than likely be in jail.

It's the waiting. Not knowing what's going to happen next. "My country is trying to kill me!!!" I hold him as he grieves. For that is what we are doing right now. Grieving. I hold him. He holds me. I hold him, our friends hold me. Our friends hold us. They've been here these last few days. Our Sarah, Patricia and Lizbeth. Heidi, Kat, Geoff and Cat wanted to come, but it was too  much. He's a proud man and it's hard for him to allow people to see him right now.

Section 12 of the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms says, "Everyone has the right not to be subjected to any cruel and unusual treatment or punishment." IF THIS ISN'T CRUEL AND UNUSUAL, WHAT IS!!!

If threatening a man with jail for non-payment of a debt, then by the wording of the said order, the man is deprived of the ability to get a job to try to make those payments, then throwing him in jail for not making the payments isn't cruel and unusual treatment and punishment, WHAT IS?!!!

Section 7 of the Charter of Rights says, "Everyone has the right to life, liberty and security of the person and the right not to be deprived thereof except in accordance with the principles of fundamental justice."

If denying a man the ability to present evidence and cross-examine the other side's evidence, then holding fast to the 'official record', which contains only the court/woman's side, as the only authority in the case and using it to exact a punishment that is cruel and unusual isn't a breach of Section 7, WHAT IS??!!! HOW IS THAT IN KEEPING WITH FUNDAMENTAL PRINCIPLES OF JUSTICE?

He finally started truly expressing what is inside him yesterday. The pain, the anguish. The rage. "I'M A GOOD MAN!!" And he is. That's the thing. Things happen in life, mistakes, bad decisions; ramifications follow. But when judges in a court of law use their power to ruin someone's life without taking into account that man's life, his true circumstances, it's horrible. It's wrong.

The Charter of Rights and Freedoms has no bearing in family court. None. How do we fight this? How, when the top judges in the province have decided it was all done legally and rightly? How? We have no energy to do it.

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